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IontheAuthor
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Name: Joy Michelle
Birthday: 3/13/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: My most important interest is my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ... sharing with others about Him, and coming to know Him better through worship...also... playing guitar and singing. journaling, playing piano, and drinking starbucks...
Expertise: being joy. joy= (n.) female. overly optimistic, loves making chocolate chip cookies; watching mr. holland's opus when its raining outside; enjoys smiling; driving with the windows down; and girliness. striving to be a bride of Jesus.
Occupation: Retired
Message: message me
AIM:  random06932
Member Since:
2/25/2004
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| the Lord is so good. i am learning a wealth of truth from these few days of preparing for marriage.
it's an amazing change that is about to take place, sometimes it dawns on me more than others. i think moving him into the house was certainly an eye-opener.
i will no longer be miss blinson. i will bear the name of the one i will be joined with..
no more having to tell mom where i will be, that might be nice.
doing the dishes, clothes, dinners ...for two. i will be listening to a lot more country music.. and my house will be filled with a lot more books... did i just say my house? yes. i will live in a house, with a man. that's pretty cool.
new pots and pans.. and fun things like tea pots or place mats have be given to celebrate the occasion. new insurance and budgets. change of address. change of life..
i think i am most grateful about the immense sanctification that is to come, and already has begun. it is humbling to understand that you can no longer hide your sin, or even allow it just to effect you. it is easily seen and unfortunately bears it consequences directly on this one i will be married to. it is bittersweet process of being molded into the image of our Maker as we complement each others strengths and weaknesses.
it is an unbelievably fulfilling role to be a helpmate. i think i had a wrong mentality for quite some time of all that was involved in "wifedom". i love the ways that Shaun has started to prepare to lead our household in Godliness, and further the wonderful place i get to be in following him, and assisting him in those choices.
it's like God specifically created us to satisfy each other in these ways. i don't think it is any coincident that he is an amazing comforter when i am an emotional basket case; nor that i truly enjoy encouraging and cheering him on as he accomplishes the many duties set before him.
marriage is an absolutely beautiful picture of Christ's work on the cross- there is nothing we did to deserve his love, yet he continually gives it. though shaun and i are certainly fall short of expressing the love of Christ to each other, when we do it is a remarkable feeling. grasping that someone loves you, even when you sin- AND that they are committed to loving you until death.. it is a very small glimpse of all that God has done to develop a relationship with us. He never leaves us, and has not pursued us because we were good. He just wants us and has sent his son to pay the debt we were entangled to.
i am enjoying learning salvation all over again. understanding how it feels to be truly forgiven, and how to carry that out on someone else without harboring bitterness. it is a great thing.
in 23 precious days i will be marrying the man i have prayed about for years and years ago before i even knew his name. I know the Lord has above and beyond answered my prayers, and it is neat to see Him continuing to bless us by showing us more of Himself through each other.
God is good, constantly satisfying and fulfilling. marriage is a lovely overflow of His grace and love. i can't wait ...to meet my Maker, and continue to know Him through the man i will soon call husband.
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| just finished watching a movie. I’m convinced my mind follows story
lines far too closely, as immediately following I am preoccupied by
those images.
I don’t catch tv or the movies too often. perhaps that is why I can’t get over what I watched tonight.
I am full of emotions. that’s another reason why I writing. to make sense of what I have taken in.
It hurts my heart to see lives without something to live for. so many
people… that’s not personal enough… I see so many amazing men and women
in my mind; I picture specific faces of gifting and endless
opportunities… awaking to a routine of barrenness. motivating
themselves by a dream of being loved and cared for... or envisioning
their power and being recognized therein. I can’t imagine the
dreariness of day-to-day, uncertain of what will happen when life is
turned to dust. laying their head on their pillow at night, thoughts
drift to a scene of him sweeping her away into the darkness and
confessing his love…an audience of co-workers applauding the success of
countless hours in office… and what about when it does become reality?
Is that what this life is for? has the passion and vigor invested in
climbing to the actuality of those dreams equated to never-ending joy,
fulfillment, and hope? I am so heartbroken that much of our world is
pouring themselves into false expectations and coming out empty handed.
If only they could know the love of someone who accepts them despite
deepest regrets and sorrows. If they could grasp the freedom of their
entanglements to sin released. Perhaps if they could imagine a day when
the maker of this universe calls them by name and welcomes them into an
eternity of rejoicing. See their face radiate with excitement as they
understand the beauty of forgiveness, purpose, and real love. I want
our world to know my Jesus, for them to taste and see that He is good.
I wish there was more time for them to see. I can’t grasp how God must feel.
Father- bring revival to this land.
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| i really want holiness.
i want to be so intimately close to my Father that the things of this world aren't a bother.
i want truth to control my thoughts, rather than fear, and flesh.
i want to be better at christianity.
i want to see God's glory in my life and those around me
i want to understand things that God allows
i want to rest in Jesus.
i want something to be said for my life. that i used it to the best of my ability to be obedient, and drew others closer.
i wish God were physically here.
i wish i wasn't so full of pride and sin
His grace, love and holiness really don't sink in sometimes. especially how much they change a filthy life like mine. a shake my head in disbelief- God really loves me... again. and after that sin and that one oh... and that one too. and he'll love me tomorrow. and through that. and He will be with me through everything, literally. i don't grasp it. His love is so good. it's crazy that i really don't have to do anything, He just loves me.
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| so i haven't reflected on things in quite some time now.
I feel very blessed in this season of my life. much to be thankful for. recently losing my grandfather reminded me how fortunate i am to have a mother, father, brother, and sister. it's so normal for me to take these relationships for granted. yet, everything i have is due to God's blessing.
It's interesting, how i find i am much closer to the Lord when i am in trials, rather than during the seasons of plenty. Those hard times of my life are so precious to me now, thinking back to how i yearned for Christ with everything in me, as it was my sustenance for each day. i'm hungry for that intimacy again.
though, i have found that even during the harvest- satan still lures me into thinking i would be more satisfied if i had... fill in the blank... that is so dumb. i shake my head just thinking about it. I must find my joy in Christ, happiness will fluctuate as people and things temporarily fill the void; but my joy, my true fulfillment, comes from Him alone. and i like being dependent on Him to fill me up.
I am truly homesick to be with my Father sometimes. this spiritual warfare can be taxing. it makes me ready to be glorified. then i remember that this is the only time i will have to tell others about this hope. I wish i were more bold. I need to lay aside my pride and just do it. i find myself making excuses too much. i miss working a secular job. that's what i want to do with my life- develop relationships with people who need Jesus, and lead them to its wonderful mercies. it seems so simple, but i'm not sure what else would satisfy my soul. my life is so short, i can't justify spending the little time i have here investing in a selfish temporary environment just for my pleasure. oh well, i'll cross that bridge when i come to it i guess.
i like having a boyfriend. 9 months of getting to know someone from a completely different background has been quite the eye-opener. i've never really done the whole "serious relationship" thing before, it's a bit of a change from miss independent. i can't hide my sin, nor stay in it for too long either without it effecting him. it's a frustrating and completely rewarding situation all at the same time. It's also extremely humbling to grasp a man care for me despite all my flaws, and realize that the Maker of this universe- the one i truly sin against- cares for me that much more. God is so good to me, sometimes i just have to stop and pause a little to take it all in.
routine is back in style with work and school. hopefully, i can make an effort to memorize scripture on a regular basis. i want my days to count for something. when the day is done, what do i have to say for glorifying God? hopefully, something.
I am meeting a friend on monday to start a beth moore study. i am super excited about being pushed out of my flesh. it's good to have a sister in the Lord to do this with. that's all i have for now..
maybe more thoughts later. off to enjoy another undeserved gorgeous fall day....
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| So its probably about time for another update… For whoever reads these things, the basic gist of my summer began with a few weeks in Tanzania, Africa; then a day at home, and now i‘m traveling round Montana til august 1st. Life has been pretty good. I mean who could complain with such opportunities presented before them. I’ve definitely learned a lot. Though right now, I’m more in a thinking mode as far as learning goes. That’s probably why I’m sitting here. I only update when I have too many thoughts to contain in my head- some have to unload on paper. I’m pondering most about the future and the gospel. Shaun got me a book on the will of God, which would probably service me much better than venting on here about such things, so perhaps after I finish it, I’ll write another post. Until then… I guess I’ve been wondering a lot about the “whys”. Why are there so many people who don’t know the Lord, and there is no one near by to tell them? why am I not there telling them? why should I go to Africa and tell of the Lord, when there are loads of people here in Montana who don’t know the Lord? Why am I stuck on comfort? What does God have for me here and now? I’ve also been evaluating the way we do church. This morning I was putting curlers in my hair, and it struck me that I was dressing up for church. My, how church has become such a social focus for me. Between the few believers that shared a bible study in Africa to meeting in a daycare with a few other families- my mindset on the importance of worship has completely revolutionized. What is necessary for church anyways? A big building? Friends? Perhaps, one might say that something as simple as bathrooms are necessary for church. But no, this as well is not true. I am seeing over and over again how I am glued to so many things of this world, though they may not be bad things, its just that all in all they aren’t necessary. Even relationships. I truly enjoy companionship. But the Lord is showing me that truly He is my everything. He is sufficient for it all. I gotta get, the kickoff for the week is soon. I like these verses: Psalm 107 8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men, 9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things. | | |
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